Tasers

I must apologize for the unoriginality of my recent posts, but for those of you who keep up on police tazing, and who are also mathematically inclined, here's a graph for you.

US Ranked 4th in WWII

Considering the current state of college football, I found this anonymous, yet hilarious story. After further review, the ruling on the field is confirmed that it deserves a post of its own. Enjoy!

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

The Silent Majority

In Sunday School we had a very good lesson on the need to make your voice be heard. I may be the only one out there who didn't have this passage underlined, but when I looked it up it was just another factor that tells me that the Book of Mormon was written for us and definitely has application in our lives.

With all of the issues being debated within our country, there is so much press given to those who are the loudest, although if you were to poll every American these people would be in the minutest of minorities. Enter BoM: Mosiah 29:26. It is so true! Those of us who are not voicing our opinions on the moral issues are essentially voting for the other side.

Interesting (for lack of a nicer word) Quotes

Today I was told that "revenues are consistent, but they change a lot." Any thoughts? Or other "interesting" quotes out there?

A Wanted Man

This past week I've had the experience (both good and bad) of being wanted by two different divisions here at CR England. A girl upstairs is leaving, and my name was one of the first to come up. I believe this is mostly because in my current position I provide support for most divisions within the company so the managers are relatively familiar with me.

I talked to my boss about the situation, and he told me that the boss upstairs had already told him that he was coming after me. He then proceeded to sell me on my current job and all that goes along with that. He is a good guy--a man of his word--(and a good salesman), and I believe he is watching out for me. For this reason, and a few others (such as doing a whole lot more work for no extra pay), I decided to stay in my current position, where I already have a few projects I am working on for different people throughout the company.

I must admit that having people fight over me did give me a confidence boost, and make me aware of my standing within the company. This must be how all the popular girls in school felt when multiple guys would fight over them. If only I'd been able to experience this earlier. Not the part about being a popular girl, but about being a wanted man.

The "Wanted Man" vs. the "Pop-u-lar" girl (random, I know)

A Mother's Mission

We invited my parents over to our house for dinner as a gift to my mom for Mother's Day. As we were talking my mom told us that she had signed up to serve a mission! I was extremely surprised, mostly because my dad always seemed like the more ambitious one, and my mom was always the one to stay behind the scenes and do her best to make sure the family stayed on the right side of the dysfunctional line. As we asked questions, we learned that my mom signed up to oversee people who go to the Deseret Mill in Kaysville to prepare their personal and family food storage items. My mom was a volunteer coordinator for years at Autumn Glow Sr. Citizens center in Kaysville, and she sure had a lot of coordinating to do while we were growing up, so I figure she will do a great job. I'm very proud of her for taking time to do this service for others and the Lord. She continues to be a great example to me of selfless service.

Not What It Used To Be...

Bachelorhood, that is. My wife and her immediate family went to a wedding in Seattle this past weekend, and they left the 3 husbands home. Back in my single days, I would have loved to have the house to myself and be able to do whatever I wanted. Now an empty house is just no fun. No one to play with. No one to kill spiders for me (yes, I am the man, but not when it comes to killing things). And no one to just be with. Luckily I had work and family to keep me busy this weekend, but four days without Lisa is just too long. I applaud those couples whose circumstances frequently keep them apart (military service, etc.) for toughing it out. But I just couldn't do it. After experiencing bachelorhood and all its "advantages", I'll take being married any day. Bachelorhood, it's not what it used to be.